Big Pupi can mark more territory in center field than Coco Crisp.
Pupi lets less balls get by him than Alex Gonzalez.
He's better looking than Gabe Kapler.
He's dirtier and hairier than the 2004 World Champion team.
He likes chicken wings more than Kevin Millar.
The only injection Pupi has ever received in his bum was his rabies vaccine.
Big Pupi has hit 756 career home runs in his company softball league.
Big Pupi is the only 60/60 man in baseball history- 60 stolen bases in a season and 60 stolen pieces of cheese in a season.
Pupi is a 4 time MVP (Most Valuable Pooper.)
